Couples are building an emotional bank account using bids for emotional connection as currency. | The Gottman Institute
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Couples are building an emotional bank account using bids for emoti…
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In this clip, Dr. John Gottman explains that it’s not really about having too many bids for connection. The real problem is when only one person’s bids seem to count. Your needs matter just as much as your partner’s. “Can we talk for a few minutes?” is a bid. “Can you sit with me?” is a bid. “I need 30 minutes to myself” is a bid too. You’re allowed to ask for connection. You’re allowed to ask for space. Both are valid, and both deserve to be heard. | The Gottman Institute
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Nonverbal bids for connection can work, but as Dr. John Gottman notes, only “as long as you are both clear about what message you’re sending or receiving.” Ask yourself: Do you know your partner's go-to move? Is it a smile from across the table? Do they cuddle close at bedtime? How about you? Are you sure your partner knows what you’re asking for? | The Gottman Institute
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🌟 Gottman Bids: Strengthen Your Connection 🌟 Relationships thrive on small moments. Dr. John Gottman calls these moments “bids” for attention, like a smile or saying, “Look at this!” How you respond matters: 1. Turning Toward – Engage with interest. 💯 2. Turning Away – Ignore or miss the bid. 3. Turning Against – Respond defensively. Couples who turn toward bids build trust and emotional closeness. Start today: notice and respond positively to the bids around you! #GottmanBids #RelationshipTi
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